Year One
“I wonder how many people don’t get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to be with.” — Fannie Flag
Life itself gives you lots of surprises. One day you’re up there and the next day you’re down below. Years ago, I used to wonder why things didn’t work out. I used to question the probabilities — all those what ifs. I still don’t have the answers mostly (or even all of them). Though, I know for sure that everything happens for a reason. I know for sure that behind all those closed doors and dead ends, life still gives me hope.
We met by chance.
That was what I could summarize. We never crossed path. Our world was not in line. He’s 6 years older than me. And even if we ever for once crossed path long time ago, we would probably won’t be together too. His friends were not my friends and vice versa. He graduated at 2016, the year I went for college. When he was in high school, I was still on my last year of primary school. Come to think about it, It was deadly hilarious tho.
So, when people asked, we told them that we met by chance. If only one thing didn’t lead to another thing, we would not be here today. Pretty much the possibilities became somewhat possible. For that, I always thank God for making the impossible possible. I always thank God for crossing two distant lines — for making things happened the way they should be.
I am not a fan of “Love at first sight” (and up until today, I still couldn’t fathom that phrase). For me personally, I never experienced one. I’d rather believe in “Love at the second sight” because that’s how our relationship works. It was not at the first sight that I knew we would be something. It was not at the first sight that I knew this magnitude of feelings were the most intense ones. My love towards him was not a “first sight”. Sure there were some sparks or butterflies. But it was not at the first sight. Moreover, it was not the extreme ones.
For us, it’s the stability and steadiness that we could share— the better ones.
It was not always rainbows and sugar candies; sometimes it was rocks and thunder.
Often people have their own way of thinking. And sometimes, those differences turn into frictions. The same way we used to argue with our parents or the same way we used to have arguments with our closest friends. That same way we, two strangers who met by chance, got tangled into each other’s thoughts. I disagree with him most of the times. Probably because he’s the realists and I’m more like a dreamer. I talk a lot too, meanwhile he still couldn’t get used talking freely.
We argue a lot. Not that kind of toxic abusive debates, but we do challenge each other a lot. I love to argue and question his statements. I know, i know. You probably guess that I’m the one who elicits most debates (which is true). Most of the times, we didn’t intend to argue but we ended up arguing about the irrelevant things. Though, looking back I feel so relieved. Mom always say find someone who could spend most of their time talking about things ranging from stupid to substantial with you without being bothered to the fact that both of you may have differences. He is that person.
Now, you would probably think that our fights are light and fun. But you couldn’t get any more wrong. Those long texts we threw at each other expecting the other party to lower their ego. Those phone calls we ended up regretting because it hurts the both of us. Those tears we shed thinking that maybe being alone would be better. Those ugly times that I couldn’t bare, albeit other couples told us that they experience it too.
To sum things up, Maroon 5 once said:
“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along…”
Thanks for breathing me new air, Adiyaat.
You’re the one that I’ve been longing.
Here’s to more… xx
